dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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