So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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