So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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