I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
