i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
