Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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