I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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