Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
