weddingsv make me drug and hornr
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
