Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
