i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
