Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
