What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
