Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
