You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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