No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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