yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Everything about him screamed your future.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
