I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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