come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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