Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
