can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
