I will die if light touches me.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We got so high we made milksteak
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i drank out of a bidet.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
