The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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