Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
