Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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