East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
