Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
