You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
