I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
