OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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