no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
