party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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