TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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