So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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