So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
