His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You were trust falling into bushes
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
