3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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