i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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