I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
