"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
