How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
