She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Two words: blizzard sex
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
