i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
