So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
