He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
