i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
