I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
