I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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