used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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