Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
