My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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