So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
