my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
